65/366 Finding my Place in the Greater Scheme of Things

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Status, success, salary and lifestyle does not count with your position before God.

The Manila String Machine takes a big step today, Lord as we rehearsed for the first time for our first ever musical. We are working in collaboration with Repertory Philippines in their productiodn of Jekyll and Hyde. I have shed blood, sweat and tears with this project, Lord. I do not mind not being recognized for my efforts. I just hope that we do well enough to leave a very good mark in the music and theater industry. This is so exciting. I am so grateful that You have made this possible. Thank You so much for making one of my dreams come true, yet again.

I was overwhelmed by the power of the music today both literally and figuratively. Since we were rehearsing in a small enclosed room, the mixed sound of percussions, 3 keyboards, a small strings section, woodwinds and brasses is really overwhelming. Aside from the sheer power of the sound, the music seemed to speak to me as we went over familiar songs that talk about seizing the day, acceptance, embracing weaknesses and evils and falling in love. It was a beautiful day. As I was driving home, I kept repeating in my head how grateful and excited I am for this chance to bring to life one of the most beautiful stories and musical ever written. I am very positive that we will have a great run! I was blown away by the sheer thought that we are working with the country’s best theater actors. I feel so overwhelmed that I was washed with this feeling of wanting to hug everyone in sight just to share with them the joy I am feeling. 🙂

I know that I am not alone in feeling this gratitude in my heart. My friends and I, we honestly admit that as individuals, we are not exactly the strongest players in the country. But together, mixed with a bit of prayer, we were able to make something beautiful; something we have found amazing.

In retrospect, I consider myself still very blessed. I am not really a good violinist. I have been told that my rightful place in an orchestra are somewhere in the last seats. I have to admit that for a very long time, the statement shaped how I perceived myself as a musician. It made me doubt my abilities and hindered me from trying out new avenues and pursuing music as a career. Thankfully, the Lord has found other ways to use me, to mold me and shape me; to find me a proper seat where I can truly be used according to His purpose. He has led me to Musica Chiesa, our church group where we serve the Church and lead them to the Lord through music; to praise him with songs. I will leave the higher forms of arts and the rest of the complicated classical music to the best violinists in the country who are meant to take position seats or the first two rows in an orchestra. And even if I am playing from the last stand, I do not mind as long as it means that I am fulfilling my purpose in life. He led me to The Manila String Machine where he helped me grow and gain confidence; it helped me realize that seats do not matter because everybody plays a different but very important role in life’s symphony. The Lord led me to FILharmoniKA where I learned that everybody can learn something from everybody even if they are already the best musicians in the world. Here I learned about openness and friendship beyond the confines of the rehearsal time and hall.

Through my prayers I have discerned that I am exactly where the Lord wants me to be and He has shaped and planned my life even before I was born. Everything that I did when I was a kid, everything that I dreamed about and every song that I sang back then was preparing me for this life, for this moment when I would feel my heart overflow and soar along with the words and melody of the song we are rehearsing or performing. Everything makes perfect sense now and I cannot put into words how amazed I am at how the Lord planned everything to work out perfectly. My eyes are brimming with tears as I am writing this. The words are flowing faster than I can write them and all I have are praises to the grand orchestrator my life. Every note the I play, every song that I sing, every stroke of the bow and vibrato on the string are all for YOU, dear Father. I give everything back to You. All of these are for Your greater glory. Thank You for blessing me and turning my mediocrity into my strength. Thank You for finding me a niche in a world where my heart yearns to grow. Thank You for loving me this much, Lord; for knowing what I really want even before I pray for it. Amen.

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